Well Timed

This article was sent to me by my uncle.

I Ordered Water. At A Bar. I Must Have Been Drunk.

Good ole Austin. One big drunk tank. I always enjoy my time in Austin. Food, drinking, more drinking, breakfast tacos. Have I mentioned I love breakfast tacos? Well I do. So Friday was shaping up to be a solid night out. Started at El Arroyo for mexican martinis, because well, they're delicious. Skipped dinner, and by skipped I mean had chips and queso and skipped the whole entree idea. Smart move except for one tiny flaw. I got hammered. I started the night with Kate and Jordan but Kate went off gallivanting, so Jordan and I struck out on our own. Ended up at Key Bar, because we are old now and apparently it is unseemly to be seen on 6th street East of Congress. Who knew? Had a good time until one of the guys turned into quite the douche lord. What makes people think acting that way is charming? I certainly gave off enough bitchy signals to let him know it wasn't working, but I'm not sure if he got it. So sad. 

This is where it gets fuzzy so I will use my trusty blackberry to recap. I ended up dragging the girls to Maggie's (gasp! dirty 6th I know). Said hola to a couple of bartender friends who I will always be fond off because they saved my buttloads of moulah back in my school days. So very lovely to see them. I believe our next episode was a pedi-cab, which personally is just to guilt ridden. i believe I spent the whole time apologizing, then over tipping. Oops. BTW, I still haven't checked the bank statements from this night, too afraid to see the damage. Ok so, I know my last stop was Molotov, where the infamous water was ordered. I can't remember the last I drank water at a bar. Times they are a changing. It was also at Molotov that I remembered I had a key to Kate's place, which I thought was a block away. I was mistaken. As I trot on down 6th street, one block turns into two, two turns into ten. I was barefoot by the time I reached the door. In retrospect, I'm not sure why I didn't call Kate and alert her to plan. As I sit on her bed googling pizza places open after midnight. I hear someone open the door, but no one is there. I assume it is Kate, run and open the door only to find the porch empty. Confusing. Must have been a ghost. About 5 minutes later, I hear someone make a second attempt, This time I run to the door, throw it open, and scare the pants off Kate. Somehow we ended up with pizza, Kate is so supportive in my "eating healthier" routine. Low and behold, "Father of the Bride" was on, so you know I watched that until I fell asleep. 

Water... what a pussy.

Celebrating Is Hard On The System

The past week has been quite a doozie. There is nothing quite like having a friend force you into over indulgence because they have some thing going on. Be it leaving me, Kate, or coming back to remind me you already left me, G.Mc., there is no way to say no. I even had an engagement party to attend in the middle of all this.

So my weekend started Wednesday, a la college style. Honestly, if this weekend had happened 2 years ago, it might not have even made a blip, but man am I out of practice for the marathons. Started with margaritas, seemed safe enough, but never trust the $1 margaritas, something is always wrong. The plan was to go have a couple brews at my local watering hole, but somehow we got swept up in another awkward and forced CLC reunion. That is until I got absolutely hammered and decided that these people were my actual friends, not just people I passed in the hall for 4 years. But not only was high school discussed, but middle school, because the memories from high school just weren't embarrassing enough. Somehow, Kate in all her infinite wisdom managed to get me to chauffeur her over to Taco C for one last terrible decision (the next morning I got a text informing me that her car is covered in queso, hilarious because it wasn't my fault). We were interrupted my her dear mother, who was then informed by Kate that she was ruining "our moment". Whoa Nelly, not sure what that means. Since the moment was over, I went home, to awaken mere hours later with one of those headaches that makes you stop caring about absolutely anything except how to stop the headache. Great way to go to work on a busy Thursday, so professional.

Without being fully recovered, mentally or physically, a visitor from the north arrived and the revelry continued. Which brings us to bowling. I had the best and worst games of my life. I mean just embarrassingly terrible first game. I played better as we kept going, but I'm not sure i was able to erase the memories of the other players. Terrible. Woke up ready to eat the glory the is a Classic breakfast. Stuffed. Little Woodrow's for day drinking. Random bars for Sunday Funday. It really was just too much. I took Monday off to recover, and yet am still just too tired to work.

I ended the drink fest at Kate's with wine. I can see how that could be confusing because this blog is half about how Kate left me so how could I be at her place. Well The Bachelor was one, and I think I've made i clear that this crap TV show is just entertaining enough to make me watch it if I'm bribed with wine. Donna, the mother, and I watched our weekly dose of b.s. TV. Our routines not going to change just because Kate left, ludicrous, but next week my Momma is coming with me, so the cycle will continue.

Who Knew I Could Have Such A Productive Weekend

This was a good weekend. Fun from end to end. I started it off by leaving work early, already off to a good start. Lindonian came over around 5 to start the party, which for those of you who don't keep track, was a First Friday party. Chatted it up with the neighbors, ate to much, drank an "appropriate" amount, and passed out feeling good.

Woke up feeling, not so good, but what lay in front of me was a long empty Saturday. Something must be done. Made a few calls, and decided to head into town to play with my little baby cousins. As I am heading out the door however, I was informed that a trip to the brewery was happening, switch plans, and was drunk by 3, oops. Headed to Amy's and proceeded to lose my voice in a yelling contest with a 2 year old. Technically it was a roaring contest, I believe we were supposed to be T-Rex's, not sure. From there I moved about 10 blocks south to the couch of another cousin. Tried my hardest not to embarrass Justin on his date, but sometimes he makes it too easy. Went to Rebel's, reluctantly. I like the people we were meeting, but this bar is not so much my scene. Think cowboys wearing Affliction. Yuck-o. Crowded as shit, people spilling on you every few minutes, and old men keeping their hands on the small of your back a little bit too long. Thanks for the memories. At some point near the end, I ran 3 doors down, to say hola to other people. Wanted to get in a fight, but what's the point in winning a contest with a spineless pussy? Made it home, and by home I mean the place I sleep at least half of the time, the lovely couch. 

Was awoken by Justin announcing the fact that he was up, which I found pointless, lost an argument about tacos, went to get tacos from Chiloso's Taco House. By the way, these are my new favorite tacos. The tortillas are so good, they makes you forget that you are hungover. And after that, well I think you can assume how it went. Beer, food, football. The end.

Austin City Limits or Another Weekend Proving I'm Not As Young As I Used To Be

Austin, it beats the hell out of me every time. It has only been a year since graduation, and yet, my ability to drink all day and into the night has diminished atrociously. It's embarrassing really. Headed up to Austin on Thursday night, chatted with the cousin for a bit, then shot up to Round Rock for some Jordan time. Watched Something's Gotta Give, love that movie. Jordan made stew, twas good. Talked until way to late, then passed out.

I woke up in the morning and tried to prep for the days festivities. Got some breakfast tacos, because why not. Waited for Blayne. Met Blayne and Eric, and since we were by Doc's, why not stop and have a few pitchers. Btw, Doc's fried mushrooms, awesome, just saying. Started the trek to Zilker. Half way there, stopped to use the restroom at Taco C, got a beer while I waited. Kept walking, stopped at a free Shiner stand. Got beer, koozies, kept walking. No wonder it took us forever, beer was every where. Got to the festival. Beautiful day, grass was still in tact. Music, music, music. Then walked the 2 miles to the car. End of Day 1.

Day 2, rain, rain, rain. Woke up, decided I would get a late start. Michael and I waited it out. By 4, it wasn't happening. I just couldn't justify 2 hours of walking for 1 show, in the rain, I'm just not that dedicated. Watched TV and Movies all day. Red wine and beer at the house, not too shabby. Chalk it up as a win.

Day 3. Obviously, had to make the trip worth it, so day 3 was happening. Michael and I headed that way after noon sometime. Trekked, again, about 2 miles to Zilker, not a fan of walking apparently. Started drinking, met up with friends, slowly got a group together. Ran into the Foleys for a bit. Danced my ass off to Girl Talk, in about 3 inches of standing mud water. Did I mention the mud?? Had to walk around barefoot all day. Quite impressive, I mean, it was a lot of mud. Got a free cone from Hudson's, delicious. Mud, mud, mud. All the way up my legs, not sure how I wasn't totally covered, or how I managed not to fall, but I made it. Started the 2 mile hike UP the hill. Made it home, showered, thank god. Then decided there was no way I was driving home, I would have passed out somewhere on I-10, not good.Proceeded to pass out in a bed instead.

Woke up, made the drive straight to work the next morning. Work was hard, I mean, I just can't do these all day, 4 day weekends. I was beat. Managed to make it through. Went home for dinner, thanks Momma, it was delicious. Met up with Kate for red wine and movies. All in all, a good weekend.

But seriously, I want a nap.

Texas On My Mind, or, Varsity Blues: Another Reason To Love Texas

This blog entry is in honor of, well Texas obviously, but also, to Jacqueline because she has totally got me thinking about Texas and its greatness for a couple of days now. Being in Thailand, you would expect the homesickness to create a need for more Texas. But I'm here, why do I crave it so? Because it is awesome is why.

I just got back from lunch, which was BBQ. Mondays and Thursdays is Mexican. This new work schedule is great for fulfilling those cravings. But what else do I crave? What else is there to appreciate about Texas and the food that is ours and ours alone?

1) Blue Bell. Now I know they sell it in other states but c'mon, its Texas through and through. When people here ask if you want ice cream, they don't say "ice cream". They ask "do you want some Blue Bell". It's like pop vs. soda vs. coke. Brand recognition. Ya know what, you should have yourself a Blue Bell Country day.

2) Speaking of ice cream, lets DQ something different. Now I know most of you only eat their ice cream, and that is totally legit. But Dairy Queen also makes a mean chicken finger basket. The Hunger Buster isn't bad either. I recommend branching out and trying these delectable items.

3) Which of course brings about DQ's rival on chicken baskets, What-a-burger! I know its not spelled like that, but that's how the ads say it so I wanted to give you the true experience. With their awesome ketchup containers and Taquitos, truly, a Texas original.

4) Shiner anyone? We all know that other states pale in comparison to our greatness, but some of them redeem themselves by transplanting some of our treasures to their own boundaries. Living in Florida, I had Blue Bell so that was a life saver but no Shiner to be found. 6 months. That's how long I went without it. No wonder I was depressed.

5) To round out the top 5, I bow to the all mighty queso! With your golden color and spicy flavor you put me in a trance and make all the bad parts of life melt away. How I love thee, let me count the ways. Ya know what, I can't even begin to describe the love affair, so I will leave it at that.

At this point in the countdown, I am realizing this list is gonna be longer than I thought.

6) Kolaches. I'm not sure if ya'll understand that these are ours and ours alone. You go to the other coasts, they look at you like you're crazy. Better than a donut. Better than pig in a blanket. They're just great, great, great.

7) I realize that Mexican food is technically "Mexican", but we in Texas believe that ours is better. So rather than take the credit, I pay homage to our southern neighbors for giving us the inspiration and basis for our favorite staple food.

8) BBQ. All I have to say is that Memphis, Kansas City, and any other yahoo city who thinks that they are " The BBQ Capital", can suck it.

9) Some might consider this item to fall into some of the above categories, but I believe it stands alone. Breakfast tacos. From the gargantuanness of the Don Juan, to the sublimeness of Taco C at 4 in the morning, I salute you, creator of breakfast nirvana.

10) Another item that is found outside our state but we totally have claim over, Dr. Pepper. DP and DDP are such Texas staples that I have had cousins with Dr. Pepper themed decorations for there home coming parties. DP is home. Glorious with its syrupy awesomness. I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, we're a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?

Honorable Mentions

A) Now I know this belongs to our neighbor more than us, but I would like to thank our eastern neighbor for: crawfish. It wouldn't be spring without a Saturday filled with ripping open shellfish while my fingers were on fire and dirty with spice and chugging beer to save my life.

B) Lonestar Beer. I had to mention it.

That was the food section, shall I continue...

Here goes... The Hill Country, Tubing on the Guadalupe, Friday Night Lights, "G"uadalupe and not "huadalupé", Gruene, 6th Street, Fredricksburg, Timber Cove, Pecan Pie, George Strait, Houston, The Czech Stop, Juan in a Million, Pecan Trees, Taylor Lake Village, Hruska's, Boating, Luminarios, Possum Kingdom, Ranches, Football: High School, College, NFL, Amy's Ice Cream, Bluebonnets, Boondoggle's, Reckless Kelly, Lake Travis, My Line of Trees, Max's Cafe, Horny Toads, Seabrook Classic Cafe, Astros, Austin, Varsity Blues, Nolan Ryan, Small ass Texas towns with college sized football stadiums, The Alamo, Walter Cronkite narrated "We are Texas"/ "What Starts Here Changes the World" ads,NASA, Dallas, Longhorns, Kay's Lounge, Maggie Mae's, Fort Worth, First Friday, Tilden, Shipley's, Big Bend, Frenchie's, Town Lake, Darcy, Trudy's, Enchanted Rock, Christmas on the Bridge, Tito's, Country accents, Pickup trucks, Ghostland Observatory, Lonesome Dove, and THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS.