How Does Football (Good) + Beer (Good) = Hangover (Bad)?

The last weekend before Vegas, you would think I would rest up, but no. It's like Thanksgiving, there are those who believe you shouldn't eat all day so that you have more room. Then there are those who believe you need to stretch out your stomach. It's like practice for your stomach. I'm in the latter group, obviously. I mean, in college I had totally trained by body for drinking too heavily. I didn't get hangovers, no matter what. Just didn't happen, Linden can attest to this. So I figured, drink heavy all day and night, seems like that would be a good test run for Vegas. Let's hope the hangovers were worth it. Only this weekend will start at 3:00pm on Thursday, because that's when I get to the airport. And we all know that airport bars are where it is at. Also, I won't be driving for 72 hours, so that pesky drinking and driving situation won't rear its ugly head

Anyways, back to the weekend at hand. Friday, went shopping, blew a good amount of money, but ended up with enough to supplement my wardrobe. Then went to the neighbors for Tapas. It was good to say the least. It was a good bye party for a friend moving to Spain, so they were fairly Texas based tapas. Who new T Cove was filled with such inventive chefs. My plan was to wait until the party died, then head out to a birthday thing for a bit. Little did I know that they were going to bust out the drunken guitar playing and singing. I ended up leaving at 12:30, which was way earlier than the party actually died. Did I mention that these were all 45-65 year olds? Nothing like seeing all the dads I grew up with hammered drunk singing ""You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin, Darlin". So, made it down to Kemah, and was greeted with a shot of Patron. To recap, I had white wine sangria at the party, followed by Lone Star and Shiner. So this was gonna by an all types of liquor kinda night, fantastic. Ended up hammered and back at home at 2:30, good night in all.

Woke up way to late, showered, got dressed and tried to find a TV showing the Texas game. Stupid Comcast. Found the TV and proceeded to sit on that couch all day/ night. Took a 2 hour break to go eat dinner, buy more beer, and red wine, because the guys are just that classy. Before the game had ended, and we had run out of beer, Chet decided to open the bottle of wine he was gonna drink at dinner. Kate was out of beer, so he poured her a glass. 30 minutes later, the bottle was gone, and it wasn't a small bottle. Drunks. Went to Angelo's for pizza, first time I'd eaten all day(8:00 pm). Went back to Chet's, somewhere in hear is where I lost my phone the first time, nicely done. Didn't even know it was gone. Watched the USC game, which of course sucked to be rooting for the Trojans, but man do I hate the Buckeyes, so they were the lesser of two evils. Somehow, my hangover kicked in around midnight, so I slowed my roll. Realized my phone was missing, found said phone, for all of what seemed like 15 minutes, managed to lose it yet again. Made a couple more interesting decisions, headed home around 5:00 am, at least my parents are heavy sleepers.

Woke up when my parents returned from church, they don't even try to make me go. Started the search for the phone yet again, how it got in Kate's car I do not know. Watched the Texans embarrass their city. Watched the Giants embarrass Campbell. Watched my Fantasy team embarrass the league. Headed to the pool around 5:45 for some Sunday Funday. Thought about not drinking, then proceeded to ignore that random thought. Watched Kanye embarrass himself. Watched Beyonce make it all better. Read HP, passed out. Nothing special, just a good ol' drunken weekend, nicely done.

We've Been Coming To The Same Party For Twelve Years Now, And In No Way Is That Depressing, or, Labor Day Weekend: Part 1

As a person new to this whole 9-5, Monday through Friday thing, 3 day weekends are definitely NOT taken for granted. When I returned from the office after lunch, the lights were off, the door was locked. It was 1:30, and everyone was gone. Done. Nice way to start the weekend. I stayed a bit, checked me email and such, and awaited H1. She was supposed to be arriving around 4:00, so I had a bit of time. Went and got my haircut. It was just a trim but everyone I saw commented on it. Now, this kind of reaction would make sense if it was now blue or boy-short, but no. I'm not sure, but I think I'm gonna have to start putting more effort into my hair. But then again, I am extremely lazy, so we'll see. Hayley arrived. Went shopping for Vegas. Started drinking about 5:00. Started drinking heavily around 7:30. Went to the pool, First Friday and all. Tried to keep up with the adults and then ditched the party 45 seconds before clean up began. After party at the Chateau Stansfield, shots of JD are NOT a good idea, btw. James came in and asked to play Apples to Apples. For those who are unaware, James is 11, and it was 1:00am. To me this sounded like a great idea. I think James one, he always does. Passed the eff out, woke up to Hayley having to leave. I proceeded to sleep until 11:55. As I walked into the kitchen, my father commented that I was getting up to early, I mean what 23 year old gets up before noon, he think he's hilarious. As I started the search for fellow football watchers, A sinking suspicion that I was the only person left in the Greater Houston area fell over me. Between Possum Kingdom, Fort Worth, a Cruise, Nashville, College Station(don't really understand that one), and Austin(totally understand that one), I had some how managed to not solidify my football watching plans. Shame on me I know. So what do I do, I get crackin' on the phone calls. I lucked out however. First phone call, JR Foley. Jackpot. Me: "Hey, so I'm gonna come to Austin, but I don't have a ticket to the game". Foley:"It just so happens that I have an extra, get your ass to Austin". I love him. 30 minutes after I got up, I was in the car with my momma going to Austin for opening day, things sure can turn around quickly. To be continued...

So, Friday I Was Drunk, Early.

I got to work Friday morning at about... 10:30 am, I think. No reason to be late, just that it was Friday and I wanted to sleep. And instead of going to lunch with the coworkers, I went out with the neighborhood ladies. It is a tradition in Timber Cove to go out to lunch the first week of school. I kind of celebration of not having your kids around all the time. More so, its a reason to all get together. We went for fish tacos and mango margaritas. Granted, I had to go back to work, so I stuck to just having one. Which didn't work all that well because one is sufficient in giving me quite a buzz. 2 1/2 hours later, I rolled back into the office. Nothin' like Tequila in the afternoon to make you want to take a nap. I mean, it was brutal. So after another 2 whole hours of work, I went home. I didn't take a nap because I didn't have time but I did lay down and read for a bit. Sobered up just long enough to start drinking again. Went to Kay Ann's but she was going to Pete and Annette's for fajitas. Somehow, in this neighborhood, you can always find food. If I was out of sustenance, I would just have to walk down the street and someone would feed me, it's great.


After dinner I headed into town. Went to Kay's Lounge for a classy evening. Drank Lonestar Light and tried to be the fastest at figuring out the puzzle caps. Because if someone else says "oh this one's easy", you can't be the dumb ass who takes 2 whole minutes. No siree. Then Lindsay, in her infinite wisdom, brought brownie cupcakes with peanut butter icing. Not a huge cupcake fan, I mean, they're good but ice cream's better, but these things were pretty impressive, I'm not gonna lie. Then Kate showed up And I thought I was drunk. Yes Kate, I realize I am calling you out but maybe next time you will listen to me before you start making ill advised phone calls. Let this be a lesson to you. Went home and had a spelling contest. Apparently, I said something that be construed as shit-talking. I never have thought of myself as a good speller, so I can't imagine drunk Caitlin feeling the need to start bragging. Justin therefore felt the need to have a contest. Which I of course lost. Then a race with Text Twist, which I was winning at first and then again, lost. I'm pretty sure he was sober, which in my opinion, is cheating.

Saturday morning I woke up in my usual spot, John's couch. Don't feel bad, those couches are better than some beds. My cousin had been kind enough to get tacos, which I ate, then continued to lie there, eat some Aleve, drink some diet coke, and watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I always forget how funny that movie is, I recommend it. Saturday night was Derek and Emily's house warming party. I brought a handle of Tito's and a 20 pack of beer, because, I like to party(so I like my Jesus to party). Now these people are 28, but I swear they are way more grown up. There house is so put together. As Justin would say, "Talk about one-upping, I mean, all the bedrooms have beds in them". I felt like a child. But then, the flip cup. I'd say I forgot how much I loved flip cup, but I didn't, we just never play it. I think my time won more than 50%. I know there was one round where we all hit it on the first flip, but what do you expect from a team with 2 Kuykendalls on it. Nothing short of greatness is what. Again, made it home, somehow.

Sunday: woke up on said couch. This morning it was Justin's turn to get tacos. Which of course started a "whose tacos are better conversation". They're dumb. Laid on the couch till Lauren showed up to go to lunch. I was in no way hungry, but I went, because well, what else was I gonna do. Went back to the couches, but now there was 4 of us on 3 couches, so getting up was ill advised. I believe I ended up on all 3 couches, with different blankets each time. Stayed that way till after True Blood then had to drive the 40 minutes home. Read Darcy some HP to help us sleep, then we passed out. A nice way to spend the last weekend without football.

A Silly Girl, Left To Her Own Devices

I don't know what it is about weekends and bad decisions. Well maybe not bad, just slightly more embarrassing than usual. And yet, I wouldn't change a thing. So, all in all, a good weekend.

Friday was easy enough. Walk to the pool, have a couple of beers with the neighbors. They of course tried to keep me hostage, but I prevailed and made the drive into town. Met up with the cousin and his male life partner, neither of which are gay. Went to Porch Swing. Then some genius had the bright idea of tequila shots. Yes it was me, but it wasn't my idea to order too many. So of course, I get stuck with extra shots, which bodes well for a gooood night. I know we left, went to a second bar, then late nighted at the house. My cousin grilled sausage, awesome. We played Buzz, I won, big surprise there. Woke up at 8:00 with a truly ridiculous headache. Popped some aleve, moved off the coach, and passed out for 3 more hours. woke up to this text from my mom: "John(cousin) and Caitlin need to wake up and not be good for nuthin triflin outfits, from mom and mom and grandma". Sweet really. Good for nuthing triflin outfits?? Who says that. Whatever, they think they're funny.

So at one point I drive my cousin to pick up his car. Apparently, when left in the sun, my car gets stupid hot. The cousin was a giant baby and bitched the whole 15 minutes, which is just about when it started to cool off. Then I get a call to go to a party with some old high school friends, and friends is a term I use loosely. I went, trying to expand my horizons, meet new people, yadda yadda yadda. Got there, was a pool party, I was not informed of such things. So I waited until I was almost to drunk to make it home, went home and got my suit. Came back, played beer pong, not well surprisingly. Spent too much time in the pool and stayed up way to late. Drove home at 8:30, told my mom "all" about my night, and as the rest of the family got up to go to church, I went and passed out. My mother made some snide comment about me being an adult. Whatever, adults drink and then get hangovers, so ya, I'm an adult. Ended the weekend with a couple of beers on the boat and went on the jetski, where a 14 year old smartass threw me off a couple of times. I am now at work and it is becoming apparent that today will not be my most productive.

Maybe I'll take a nap...

Drumroll Please...

I passed. That's right. I can now officially start going to work. Let me explain the real estate exam for those of you who are less inclined to care. It sucks. It is worded awkwardly, it's just a tad to long, and the room is of course, too cold. Half way through, you're sitting there, praying that you pass. Not because you really care, but because you realize, you are only halfway done and the worst thing in the world would have to come back to this cold little room and sit here through the whole thing again. You don't even want to sit through the second half. A whole other session? I don't think so. But luckily for me, I passed. No more tests or classes. Granted, I know nothing. Did I mention that after over a month of "learning", I still don't know squat. You would think that after that, you would at least feel competent. Nope. Not the case. The classes are a joke, and the test is from hell. All you learn is how to pass it. So even though I'm done with actual class work, I still have to learn. But I can handle learning. I "learn" everyday. I mean, just this weekend I learned that the more I drink, the more mystery cuts and bruises I will find on my body the next day. Thus my segue to the weekend...

Oh the weekend. Started off chill. Just drinking at the neighbors. I mean I started around 4:30, but it was Friday, so that's allowed. Then had appetizer beers. Then dinner beers. Then dessert beers. Staggered home after one some time. Called it an early night.

Saturday. Wake up to the phone, never pleasant. I have been trying, unsuccessfully to have my friends come to my house. Boat weekend. Who doesn't like boat weekends. Anyway, so I get the call. Jump up. Start trying to prepare for the invasion. Little do I know they wont be arriving for 5 more hours. As I run around like a crazy person. Cleaning the house, then bathing myself. Beep beep. Text message."Ok, we're gonna go eat then head down". Oh, all right. Guess I can cool the jets. Like I said, 5 hours later. Not complaining, just a slight miscommunication that made me run around like a chicken with her head cut off.

Get to boat, start drinking, start making goooood decisions. Wake boarding, fun. Falling, ok. Hitting the bottom of the lake at full force, I could do without it. Apparently we ended up in 3 ft of water. Oops. No big thing, the drinking numbed my leg. But hey, I got up, never did that before, so all in all, a positive. We then head back, start the eating process. We don't get food off the grill till after 10, but I had been supplementing with beer so I wasn't too hungry. Eating commenced. Eating ended. Steaks and shrimp, good. Then the shitshow. People jumping off the dock. People flipping of the deck. People falling down the teeny hill off the porch. People taking straight shots of JD. People drinking out of measuring cups. Whataburger at 4, and done. If you will notice, the details were a lot clearer earlier in the day. But the night is done to the best of my ability. All I know is my Sunday night I could barely walk I was so sore. I have bruises all over my legs and arms. Cuts down my left leg. And knots down my shin that make it look like Tanya Harding had a go at me.

Jealous?